Conversation partners can be terrifying!
Speaking to someone new can be scary. You can feel your body become hot. You start to sweat a little and you think to yourself “remember your vocabulary!” “Don’t make any mistakes.” At some point you hope the person can understand you when you speak because you know you don’t practice English pronunciation enough.
Relax.
I have created a few blog posts to help you get started. This blog post is the last of the series. There are three previous ones. This is what you’ve missed:
- About conversation partners
- Benefits of having conversation partners
- What to topics and questions to use when you talk to your conversation partners
- Being successful
Here are a few things to consider:
English only. You should not speak any other language besides English. The point of the conversation partner program is for you to practice speaking English. If you would like, you and your partner may create your own rules for your meeting times during the first meeting, or by email.
Tell your partner your expectations. Everyone has expectations. No one can guess yours, so it is best to directly state them. Being as clear and upfront as possible helps reduce miscommunication and discomfort later.
You and your partner help facilitate the conversation. There may be times when you or your language partner explain a point, but neither of you should function as a teacher. Your goal is speaking and listening.
Be mindful of personality differences. Some people are shy, some are not. Some are quiet and reserved at first, but then become very talkative.
If you don’t know something, ask. Ask your partner questions. You both should be doing this anyway, but don’t forget to do so! However, this does not mean that the conversation should become similar to an interview. That wouldn’t be enjoyable or fun. Just try to extend the conversation by asking who? what? when? where? how? which? questions.
Speak at a regular, natural pace. There is no reason to speak fast. If you’re not sure if you are speaking too fast for your partner, just ask. Don’t forget that your partner may or may not have hearing differences, so you should be respectful and inclusive of this.
Also, if you aren’t sure that she/he/they have understood you properly, seek clarification. You do this by directly asking if they have understood you proplerly
Try to have a proper conversation. This means that you should try to logically connect each question and topic. That’s how typical conversations flow. You should seek to do the same. Of course this isn’t always necessary, nor is it mandatory, but it is great practice in English.
Be respectful. No disrespect will be tolerated. If you are found to be harassing or in general not following the rules of the group or program (which is the same written ones from the Living in English: 365 Facebook group), you will be banned from the group, Fluency Academy, and all other programs from Paradigm English and its subsidiaries for life.
It is advised that you keep a notebook and pen/pencil nearby. This will help you remember any vocabulary words or phrases that you and your conversation partner have used.
Make a commitment and stick to it. This means that you must honor your commitment to your partner. Always be punctual. If you are having a problem and will be late, communicate this to your partner. Remember that the goal of Conversation Partners is practice. If you are not committed to helping yourself or your partner, you are harming both of you.
Speak comfortably. Your goal should be to to become more comfortable speaking in English. Join my Fluency Academy to learn the tricks and secrets to becoming fluent in English.
Set a time. Both partners should agree to a time and day(s) each week to speak. I suggests that you attempt one hour each week, but it can be two 30-minute meetings in a week. (This equals 60 minutes, by the way.)
60 not 120 minutes. Do not chat for longer than 60 minutes. Research shows that it isn’t productive. Plus, people are busy. Some are in a different timezone than you are. Allow your partner some rest. If you both decide to go longer, that’s fine, but you still must meet at your regular time(s) that week, or the following week.
Confirm this time each week. People are busy. They have lives. Connect with your partner to make sure that they are still able to meet. You can do this a few hours before the meeting time, or even a day before.
Taboos. Don’t assume your partner knows your cultural norms. They probably don’t. Assume that they are a nice person, however, and explain to them anything that is considered rude in your culture, or to you personally. They can’t know everything. Help him or her be respectful to you. For example, in the United States, most people will not openly speak to you about politics, religion, money, or sex. They are considered “taboo.” Taboos are something I teach in Fluency Academy. Join to learn about that and more.
Your meeting time isn’t to proselytize. Don’t preach your religion or try to persuade/convert your partner to your religion.
Silence is okay. Don’t worry if you or your partner aren’t speaking every second of the meeting. Some silence is healthy.
Takeaway
The goal of the Conversation Program is for you to practice your speaking, listening, vocabulary, pronunciation, and grammar. Above I listed many things to keep in mind when you’re planning a meeting with your conversation partner. It seems like a lot, but don’t worry, you will be able to do them. Just be open to learning something new and making a mistake or two. Also, be kind and keep trying. Everything else will fall into place.